Monday, March 8, 2021



Dear All,

Can you miss what you never even had?  I think you can.  The thing might be that we can only miss what we never had.  Or, maybe we can only miss what we can imagine we never had.  

I just discovered that my piano and French teacher died.  They called her Little Deer; I never met her, because these lessons were only a plan of mine.  A plan to take piano lessons and French lessons.  I have taken some of them, of both of them, before, but I always planned to get back to them; like a book I left a marker in, with a promise to return.  She died.  Several years ago, in fact.  And now I don't know what to do with the little advertisement I had cut out, with her smiling face, from the local magazine.  This seems like nothing, I know; and it isn't much, is it?  Especially, in a year marked by so many losses. The death of a plan, the death of a relationship you imagined, a studying you were going to undertake, it seems like nothing, almost.  

Almost like nothing.