keeping it together & the emotional labor blues

 

Guy Debord

Dear Workers,

You come to a time, and that time could be now, when you find yourself deep in a task that you thought you'd seen the last of.  You unbend from your load, straight up into an Awareness that you have been here before.  

You have been holding things together for 9 hours straight, and this is the 4th day of such straight-i-tude, and you have NOT barked at anyone, nor have you burst into tears at the total futility of it all; no, you have patiently suffered all the minor slings and arrows, all the grim facts (such as: no one even noticed that I got the food!  No one said thank you when I washed all those dishes!  I told that story to keep the ball rolling and people said I was stupid for not 'correcting' the hapless person in the story!), and you notice that you have done this easily 1,000 times.  Ah, no, not easily, but uncomplainingly, is my point.  You have held it together for your friends, your family, your work colleagues, all without a single error, and also without a single notice.  

The thing here, that I am trying to tell you, is that the thanks wouldn't even cover it at this point, and the real terrible thing, as you straighten up into that aforementioned Awareness, is that what you really want is to be able to avoid these Kind of Situations where you step into the Keep It All Together person role, where you are lifting everyone's emotional baggage up, up, up again!  

As for my own complicity in this, I know, that just like my father has often said, when asked what he might need (vis-à-vis: tools) while undertaking some harebrained repair job, "I need to have my head examined!"

PS  Your song for today is Career Opportunities!  And, this one, too.

the end of a week

 

Dear Darlings,

This week, I have been at work.  What work is, well, that is a question of serious thought here at the Dodo.  Work, at least for now, shall be defined as anything, any time, that is given to another to satisfy their expectations.  Let's unpack this notion further!

A definition for work.  Let's say you made a date to meet a person for a meeting to discuss childcare or your living trust.  That, is work.  The other fellow is getting paid for that meeting, and you may not be, but either way, pay or not, that is work.  You leave the meeting, and you don't have any other engagements for the day.  A friend says, shall we get a coffee, walk in the park, go bowling?  These three could be play.  But, they might be work, too.  The getting a coffee would be work if you wanted to go home and read a book, but you said, okay to the coffee, because you felt your relationship with coffee asking person needed it.  Like a plant, maybe you felt this relationship begin to wilt, so you agree to water it, even when you are thinking you are sad to miss your favorite on air dj while you get this coffee and water this relationship.  That, is work.

If you get up in the morning and the day is all yours, you have a shot at play.  In this definition, play is that which no one else expects of you.  You read a book, you wash the sink, you file your taxes, knit a hat, and you make a drawing.  All play, but ONLY if no one needs you to wash the sink or get the taxes done that day.  The term 'no one' here has to include yourself.  See how hard it is to play, and how easy it is to work?  It's going to take some discipline (travail, peut-être?) to play under these definitions.  

Moreover, or more than that, or more than this, notice how time is a big part of the distinguishing factor between play and work.  If it is needed at a certain time, it will probably end up being work (eg: the filing of taxes).  But this can be usurped by doing a task (work; yes or no?) when it is not needed.  When no one is waiting for it, or expecting it.

Sharp readers are now thinking, 'huh, sounds like I barely play at all!'  Well, that is surely true for me, so it is probably true for you, too.  We get now to a phrase I like, 'serving at will.'  This also can modify time from work to play.  Here is an example:  I make a pie to give to someone.  They are not expecting a pie, I made no pie(crust) promises.  Pie making, in this instance is play.

Play is a pretty shy animal, it spooks at the slightest whiff of need or duty.  Consider this: Fun or work?  Recording it might have made it work.

Ah, but what was I telling you, anyway?  Yes, I am at work this week, and so, I am writing to you from the past, from a time when writing to you was neither needed nor expected, and so, I am at play now, but when you read this, I will be at work.  It is nearly the end of my work week, and I feel like a little dance party, to celebrate.  See you next week, when I will be doing my best to be back at play for the remainder of the year!

Bring On the Dancing Horses

Iconoclasts

Driveway

All the Pretty Horses

Starnies

 

Sketch, Vincent Van Gogh, 1888

 

Dear You,

They are playing our song!  That has only happened twice in 22 years!  Still, it's worth noting, celebrating.  The starnies are shining bright, and I still believe it was the right song to choose.  Can you imagine?  The pressure of choosing just one song?  One song, to mean everything?  To mean for keeps, to mean 'love', to mean union?  I don't know that I could do it today, but I was younger and more confident in those days.

Now this is a bit of a digression, but I lived in Edinburgh for a summer once, and we studied Scots poetry.  Scots poetry means Bobbie Burns, for one thing, and a lot of translating for people like me.  I loved this, of course, because I love words in all languages.  I love that they have all these shades of meaning, and that starnies could equal little stars in basically the same language as my own.  If I could get anyone to listen, I might just spend every day talking about a beautiful word of my acquaintance.  Or, maybe I don't mean 'listen' so much as I mean 'get paid to.'

I have talked at length on working, jobs, vocations, and careers lately; and it has me asking you this question today: what do you wish they paid you to do?  It's only right, I feel, to answer as well as ask, and I think I want to be paid to run a roller rink and to encourage people.  Does that sound lofty?  What the heck do I mean by 'encourage'?  I mean that I want to tell people, often, and on a one to one basis, that they are okay, they are alright, they are here, they are fine, they are heard and valued. Yes, it does sound a bit lofty after all!

UBI Now (or, Worker Oppression is as Old as the Hills).

 

Dear Working,

I thought to address this letter to 'dear workers,' but I wanted to be sure you understood I don't just mean people who receive a pay stub.  Here are some of the job titles I have been this week:

photographer

video producer

writer

lecturer

critic

facilitator

launderer

poulterer

housecleaner

cook

therapist

in home caregiver

gardener

secretary

instructor

representative

inventory manager

IT specialist

Those are just the ones I can think of in two minutes.  Let me elaborate; I don't mean that I can do those jobs a little bit, or kinda sorta.  I mean that I am totally qualified as an expert in ALL of those areas.  If a magic fairy dropped me into the rolling desk chair behind any of those jobs, I could do them without batting an eyelash.  Let me further elaborate; I know that you, too, are qualified for a career list at least as long as this, and very probably longer.  Now, I am glad we settled all that, because I don't want any argument about how over qualified you already are for your life and work.

What I want, now, is to introduce you to two new words (at least, they were new to me, and in true shock of the new fashion, horrifying):  Upskilling and Reskilling.

Yes, these are the two ugly elves you heard about- the ones you must recall the names of, if you want to climb up a tower on someone else's hair.  They are five in all:  Upskilling  Reskilling, Deskilling, Mob Killing, and Up Yours.  Just like in the stories, you must be on your guard around these tricksters.  You may enter into a contract with Reskilling only to find that the money you spent does not qualify you for more pay.  All it did was lengthen your list of abilities and line the Skilling Boys' pockets with more silver.  There's a moral to it, as TweedleDee tells Alice.

It's a lot to ponder, especially if you are thinking of making a career move, whatever that is anyway.  As further beseechment, I offer you this essay, by Anne Helen Peterson.

PS

I am pretty sure I am not supposed to -ment the verb beseech.  Direct any usage complaints to the ugliest elf, Up Yours.

The daily grind.

Dear Ones,

Again, I can hardly believe my good fortune: see if you can credit it!  There I am, minding my own business at my job, when someone asks me for some 'ideas'!  Well, of course, I replied:  Chantilly lace, and a pretty face, and a pony tail hanging down, .... and oh baby! you know what I like!

I gave him the following ideas- I think they are fabulous, of course; really top drawer ideas; one of them is someone else's idea. I mean, that wingchair!  What a doozy!


A lilac velvet upholstered wingchair filled with a pile of pale river stones.

A secret library in the trunk of a car.

A map to the places the wee folk live.

A minotaur courts a bower bird.

Nine pairs of shoes & four mouse holes.

An atm that dispenses cupcakes all night and day.