Dear September,
I have more for you! Another pile of unrelated tunes any one of which might be your song for today! There is so much not to say, and plenty of time to say it in. May today bring us one day closer to an end to fascism!
Try (Just a Little Bit Harder)
Dear Lu/Lou
A song for you, for today. I also offer you this fine essay on hierarchical power and disappointing people (a minor hobby of mine). It could also be thought of as an essay on seeking approval. I know you know you shouldn't, but if it is the only praise you ever get, how can you not?
I can see it so clearly, sometimes: I was doing a thing, making a noise, trying something, and there was a Man; he'd say: smile more, he'd say: keep it down, he'd say: you are doing it wrong, he'd say: you could be great, if.
The thing I guess to try to keep in mind, is that we have been constrained, just like mice in a maze- sniffing along corridors, always moving forward, but we don't realize that there are no real choices in narrow channels. We don't see that we have been conditioned. It's a bit painful, really, to realize it, to notice it. To see yourself bumbling unwittingly through time and space. But if the walls of our mazes remain invisible, how can we ever follow anything but that same conscripted path?
Dear Reader,
The phrase, the two word combination is oddly satisfying, but what do people mean in saying it? Is it a satisfaction that feels odd, or is it odd that it feels satisfying? Because, finding yourself satisfied is an odd feeling, for sure; I don't think we give much attention to how we feel and whether it is odd, or satisfying.
The thing I find sometimes, and it is odd, I guess, or at least rare, is a feeling of elation. Or a dawning giddiness. A sudden awareness of lightness. Oh, and it is also like when you get to yell "bingo" because you have filled in your board; Bingo is such a metaphor for my emotional landscape! Maybe yours, too? You are working away, listening, putting markers on the co-ordinates, focused on the task at hand, and then, pow! Bingo! Up you jump (figuratively) from the flow of attention to a big burst of extroverted yelling. It's a marvel of experience, playing Bingo.
You may need convincing- it isn't strategic; but you have to pay attention. I used to play in our community center as a 13 year old; a lot of people older than I were there, and you played for a dime, so when you won, when you bingoed, you'd get a paper cup with maybe $2.70 in it. I really loved the way this game brought people of different ages into the same, focused space. It's odd, yes, and satisfying, too.
Dear Malaise & Ennui,
Hey, hey; It's bleak, and it's gray, it's low, but hey, they are playing our song, and they are playing it the best, and it is our song of the day.
