One thousand three hundred days.

 

Dear Readers & Rollers,

Guess what today is!  A very big day!  Today is day 1300 of consecutive roller skating!  To celebrate it, I hope you will roller skate.  If you can't do that, maybe watch this film of some damn fine skaters.

It is also time for my regularly scheduled enjoinder that you should roller skate too!  In 2007, when I got my first adult pair of roller skates, there was only one YouTube video on roller skating; made by a wonderful roller derby player named Cat.  Now, well, now you can take your pick of terrific and free video instruction.  It's a wonderful time to roller skate!   There are many shops, and a lot of skates to choose from, in a pretty large range of prices.  

If you are feeling shy about searching the internet, here are a few links for you to try:

A shop.

A tutorial.

Another shop.

Another tutorial.

A place you can rent skates.

A pop-up rink.

A manufacturer of skates.

On skates.

 

Dear Lovelies,

It's been a long time since we talked about this, but, today is day 900, and so I will attempt yet again to convince you to roller skate!  

Why, you ask, why roller skate?  

The glamour:  But no, that's not really it, because it's only glamorous if you are Gloria Nord or on the internet.  Just to set the record straight on glamour, let's hear some sound advice from the Dirty School of Skate.

The absurd:  Wheels!  On boots!  On your feet!  That is some kind of human, beautiful, passionate, crazy!

The frightening:  Falling hurts, and you fall; yup, you fall.

The challenge:  It's difficult, and see above, falling hurts!

The joy:  All of the above combined with hurtling, even faltering, slow hurtling, through space and time!

There are also a few more personal reasons that I love skating.  One thing I love about roller skating is the fact that it isn't filled with teenaged boys:  I like that roller skating is something that girls and women do.  I was interested in skateboarding, but not in being the object of a teenage boy's ridicule.  I had to endure that when I was a teenaged girl, and I hated it then, too.  (Question to self:  Do girls ever mortify boys by making fun of their physical abilities?  Hmmm.)

Another thing I love is the parts and the gear.  I love trying different wheels, different knee pads, making skate leashes, rotating wheels, cleaning bearings, all the geeky details.

And a last thing, which is related to the challenge; for me, it's a place to be daring and even a smidge righteous, in the pride sense, because to even try to roller skate is really amazing.  I am the evil opposite of a 'gifted athlete;'  I am a ball ducker.  I have poor balance, no innate grace, and a paralyzing fear of injury.  This makes me suited only for chess, but I am rubbish at that, too,  and chess is a dull and sadistic game that requires utter surrender from your playmate.  Chess also has too many teenaged boys, especially the annoying middle aged ones.  However, after skating regularly for 12 years, and floundering on our mini ramp, I still cannot drop in.  My massive and wonderful consolation prize is that I am part of an extremely elite group of 52 year old women who even try to skate ramps, and this perverse fact gives me a heap of nearly harmless and totally comical self-satisfaction.

Sisters and brothers, won't you join me?

jumping jehoshaphat

Dear Jumping,

I remember when I first tried to lift both skates off the ground at once, a tiny jump, on my 40th birthday.  I was way beyond reasonably pleased with myself for doing it, because I was so afraid of it.  I have been hopping here and there ever since, and thinking, "gee, sure is slow going, getting good at jumping." 

I love to watch people roller skate almost as much as I love to skate.  I always believe that if I watch it enough it will assimilate into my feet.  Some of my favorite skating clips I have watched over and over.  This one has absolutely revolutionized jumping for me. 

The film is made by a skater known as Dirty Deborah Harry and she also speaks about critiquing one's form and efforts.  What she says about negative self-talk is mighty important, and I was so happy to be invited to begin to stop thinking about myself as not brave enough.  Sometimes, though, when you decide to stop being something or another, you have a little trouble choosing what you will be instead.  There's a little void there and it seems to need filling.  My top choices to be, instead of fearful, are plucky, valorous, spunky, spirited, and dashing.  The idea here is that if I fill in the space that fearful leaves with one of these other adjectives, I won't end up with something that sneaks in, something like foolish, rash, or rock-stupid.




All of the Dirty School of Skate videos are very good; if you aren't already watching them, I hope you will try them.

Beyond the three r's

 

Dear Everyone,

Of course, changing your wheels is fine, but I prefer to have skates set up for all eventualities:  The rink, the ramp, and the road.  Actually, I would add the porch, too, because I like my trucks a little sloppier (looser) in small spaces, and I like them tight when things are faster, rougher, scarier.

I thought I was doing all right with six pairs of skates, but I sold one, and so that leaves only five, and really, I don't wear two of my pairs of skates much at all, because I have become so used to the heel on my high boot skates.  What is reasonable, you might ask?  Well, six used to feel that way.  Many years ago I saw an image of skate's sofa, with many pairs, maybe nine, under it.  Recently, I saw an image online of a shelf with over 12 pairs.  I mean to say, I feel pretty puny about my 5 now.  Is 12 my new goal for reasonable?

I have always loved the way these look, and these, and these, and now there are these, too.  Would I want to add these?  Or some of these?  Just like Betsy Ray, in the Betsy-Tacy Books, I dearly love the 'choosing.'

Brand New Key

Dear Rollers,

Here is your song for today.  A dear pal of mine got new skates this year, and I am so happy about it-  I am always working, you know, trying to get ever more feet onto wheels. I am shopping for a new helmet, in a leisurely way, and I still want to get one of those keen little tin suitcases for my skates.

It looks like many of us will be putting some new and delicious boot colors on our want list.  Take a look at this new Pineapple pair of skates, if you dare!

Here's another little something we will all want for our skates: spiffing new sparkling laces.
 

Here's why.

Dear You,

I finally have the answer for you- I missed it before, but it was right in front of my face.  You ask, why roller skate?  And the answer:  Because you might fall.  The thrill is in the possibility of falling.  I offer this glorious snippet of 16 mm film as proof:

The Latest and Skatest.

Dear Rollers,

I have been working diligently at my backwards crossovers.  It goes slowly and clumsily, on the 30 foot patch of porch concrete.  I am pretty sure I am the most fearful woman in the world on skates.  I love trying to face these scary tricks and moves, although, I do have my moments of discouragement.  Well, more than moments, really more like hours and days and months of discouragement. 

I watch these great films on how to skate when I am discouraged; here is a nice one on how to spin.  If you'd like some more from Indy Jamma Jones, she has a fine series called Planet Roller Skate; find them here.  Candice Heiden has three good lessons on backwards skating beginning here.








Ms. Heiden is shod in some super slick skates- the boots are Harlicks.  If I ever learn to spin, maybe I'll get me some Harlick boots.  After pining for a suitable space of time, I spent my wages on these boots, which I mounted on these plates, and I wheeled them with these.  I intend to take the whole gorgeous teal and white confabulation out to the ramps and get the ankles and toes all scraped up and dingy.  This latest acquisition brings my total number of roller skate pairs to six.  Just another six and I will have a dozen!  Won't that be something?!

Instant Improvement: Just Add Suit.

 

 

 

Dear Quadruple Threats,

Isn't it time we studied one of the greats?  As I often tell myself regarding great paintings, we must be encouraged and inspired by demonstrations of outrageous skill (will you look at his outside edges!).  We must not turn our backs in sad dismay, give away our skates (or paintbrushes) muttering: "ain't no way I'm ever going to be that smooth."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gene Kelly would be very sad to hear that his exhibition of skating made us want to give up our own puny gliding and pushing, and so I intend to watch this repeatedly, until I can feel it in my feet, and to acquire, by osmosis, a teensy bit of Gene Kelly's mad rolling genius, and then manifest it in my own ploddingly joyful skating. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS 

 

One thing that might instantly improve my skating is the addition of a fedora hat- although, I believe what is worn in this clip is more properly called a trilby- or maybe I will try a tailored jacket.  The Goodwill store is full of wonderful menswear blazers and they will probably even fit over my elbow pads.  There is a fellow, in fact, that I have seen skating at Moonlight Rollerway in Glendale, on Tuesday organ nights, with outside edges such as Gene's, and he wears a suit when he skates, too.  Want to read more on this 66 year old treasure of a skating rink?  I'll bet Gene Kelly skated there, and your Mom, or even your Mom's Mother!

 

 

 

 

PPS

 

Your suit won't be limited to roller skating, you can skateboard in it, too.

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

S'wonderful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Skated,

 

I have added another roller rink to my list:  Epic Rollertainment.  The wonderfulness of the thing is that it is practically brand new- opened just two years ago!  Yes, it filled me with hope too.  Maybe the revolution is coming after all....

 

I have been expanding my notions of what a place to skate is-  Inspired by Chicks in Bowls, some pals and I tried the skatepark, with its terrifyingly fast skateboarders.  I was fortunate, there were only a few fast skateboarders, and they didn't even gawk at my clumsy, aged skating.  Those boys were real princes about keeping their opinions to themselves!  

 

Tennis courts I have skated on, at least when the Racketed and Serious Tennis Playing People are not in them, and basketball courts, too.  

 

A few days ago, I used a perversely large parking lot, at night, inspired by the notion of Dave Hickey's; that one is either a Pirate* or a Farmer.

 

What do I have on my wish list of places to skate?  Big Box Stores.  Have you seen those polished floors?!  Whoa nelly!  It's the season for wishing, and so I wish you well in your scofflawing schemes, your roller skating, and anything else you have an itch to try.

 

 

 

 



 

 

Enjoy this film featuring some of the Moxi Skate team skating all over the places we don't yet dare to try our wheels on! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 * Pirates use parking lots at night, or anytime they want to, and they don't use them for parking cars. The security car drove right by me, did the vehicular equivalent of a double take, and then drove on, probably shaking their head in amazement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like a Long Necked Goose.

Dear Ones,

You know what I like: chantilly lace, you playing your guitar, reading books that have words you need to look up, making a pie, and the sight of you on eight wheels! 

I haven't asked you to skate in months- and why?   Well, periodically, I give up on you- yes, it pains me to confess it, because the fault is all mine.  Ask yourself:  When was the last time she suggested I try tap dancing?  My, it has been years!  What could this mean?? 

The trouble with loving things very much, is that it is sometimes dismaying to see that others' fires for the subject cannot be lit.  So, I slip to the back of the bus for a time, and I ponder what I could say to convince you, and then, I make a new sally at the windmill that is your resistance.  Or, perhaps it is my resistance, too- the resistance of all humanity.  Because, really, if you implored the holy heck out of me, I still wouldn't give much more time to trying to listen to brostep.   It just doesn't reach me, baby.

So what can be done?  Meet me in the middle-  I will loan you my skates, and you can play  Skrillex on your smartphone's speaker.  It isn't a perfect world, but it's ours, all ours.

 Ain't no resistance in this film:

None here, either, even on the rough and tumble pavement:

Try this film on how skates are made, and see if you can resist getting a pair!

PS  One more Chet Faker song, I think, as an outro.  But, no one will blame you if want to hear the original, too.